My name's Bender Rodriguez and I want to learn the railroading business. Then you've come to the right side of the tracks. Uh, I'm looking for the wrong side of the tracks. I'm off to the railroad to become a folk singer. Then go live among the railroad men, why not? You'll come to understand them, just as I now understand the ape-men of Earth.Īs stupid as Zoidberg's idea is it's brilliant when I have it. How can you people be so blind? But I've never picked cotton or been on top of Old Smokey or worked on anything all the livelong day, let alone a railroad. Look, Leela, I'd love to write about my own experiences The heartless robot is Bender. Yeah, you should write a song about a heartless robot who leaves his best friend to be murdered. How can I be so bad at everything I try and still be so great? Bender, you have a lovely baritone, and you sure can strum that plastic guitar, but you can't write a real folk song about experiences you haven't had. That's my shtick! I failed at my lifelong dream again. Now, get out and don't come back till you've lived a life worth singing about. Why are they booing me, Silicon? 'Cause your song was insincere, boy. My bad-hearted woman loved a smooth-talking gambler ♪ I'm Ramblin' Rodriguez, the new greatest folk singer ever.Īnd I'm gonna sing my new masterpiece, "The Ballad of Me, Ramblin' Rodriguez. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present, fresh from another down-home authentic prison term, the universe's greatest folk singer, Silicon Red! Thank you. Man, all this corncob pipe smoke is irritating my stab wounds. Not what I meant, but don't perform it without my permission! Anyway using this simple formula, I can generate as many hit folk songs as I want. Somebody kills somebody, blah, blah, blah ♪ There's a lot more, but in the end, somebody kills somebody, blah, blah, blah. While you were yakking, I downloaded every folk song in the universe and analyzed them.įor example, 36% of all folk-song heroes work on a railroad and are named "Big" something.ħ5% of these big railroad men have bad-hearted women who done them wrong, usually with a smooth-talking rambler. Where's the money in that? I'll just make up my own.īut, robot, you can't just make up folk songs like you can a medical diploma. The point is do you even know any actual folk songs? Actual folk songs are all public domain. It must be interesting to win a knife fight. See this scratch? I tell people she got it while I was doing hard time with a New Hampshire chain gang.īrutaloff slashed me with his finger knives, right after he thawed out of his carbonite, and right before he froze me in his carbonite because you deserted me.Įh, you're always getting frozen in stuff.īender, you're not a folk singer just 'cause you have a guitar. Shall we adjourn to the porn folder? I call my new guitar Bender Mae because Bender may be the greatest folk singer of all time! It looks pretty authentic. So, how long will it take? Four or five hours. Now I'll convert that guitar image to a wire-frame model.īy laying down layer after layer of nano-plastic, it can turn your wildest dreams into ordinary reality. Where'd you store the guitar picture? I don't know. " I'll just need to locate that guitar image on your file system. You see, nowadays we can take a unique and beautiful object, and easily reduce it to a formula for mass production. Will I need to threaten you? - Not at all. Using my fancy technology, I can make an exact copy of this guitar. See with all Salmonella and me been through, her sound is unique.Īll your fancy technology will never be able to copy this guitar. We met doing hard time on a Mississippi chain gang.Īnd she'd been with me through 30-odd convictions.ģ0? You must be quite a bungling lowlife.Īw, come on! I can't be a famous folk singer without a cool guitar.Ĭan I at least get a photo? And before you answer that Now I'll just have someone duplicate your guitar. Of not being left alone with a frozen supervillain.Īye-hyah! Then I shot him and stabbed him and stole all his gold ♪Īnd I tried on his face while his body turned cold ♪Ĭan I have your autograph, and also you tell me everything you know about folk singing, and I'll take your guitar too? Old Salmonella? Son, I ought to kill you for asking. Silicon Red! Silicon Red! Hey, I have a lifelong dream too. So what? So what? Have you forgotten my lifelong dream of being a folk singer because I sure have until right now. Take him down to processing while I stay here and get hooted at.įry, look! That's Silicon Red, the universe's greatest folk singer! There's your wallet, your guitar, and your gun. It's probably just the carbonite thawing slightly. Yeah, until you're defrosted and wake up refreshed, unaware of any time having passed. This prison is where you'll be spending your 300-year sentence. Planet Express Discount Prisoner Transfer at your service.
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